Flash back to 2004

As a result of my extreme boredness, I actually went to read my old blog! (Btw, I find it quite amazing that blogspot didn’t shut down my old site due to inactivity. But… Thanks?)

Anyway, after reading part of it, I found some things quite amusing.

 

1) I actually maintained the blog for nearly TWO YEARS. Like, OMG!!! Is that a personal record?!? It actually spanned from my JC days till uni days till I met my dear!!!

 

2) The language I used is absolutely hilarious. i guess i was writin in the… i dunno leh.. jc small gurl gurl kinda style~ =)

But with that said, what I wrote did sound more interesting then now. At least some part sounded pretty…… poetic to me. LOL.

 

3) I have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION WHATSOEVER about alot of events that happened!!!

June 22nd 2004

” me finally msged him this morning coz i tot it was useless to keep waiting. realised that he has a fever. poor baby… he said that he din msg coz he was having a fever. i’m not sure if its strong enough an excuse, but i’ll buy it for now. honestly i have no idea wad is goin on. the signals he’s sending are so mixed that i dare not come to any conclusion in fear that i might misinterpret. he said he likes me. but if he likes me, den how come he never ever calls? how come i always have to be the one who has to take the initiative to msg or call him? budden when i start to think that maybe he doesn’t like me n he’s just fooling around with me, he always does the sweetest thing to make me feel so happy again. hai… this is so annoying. =( “

Ermmmm……….. I’m sorry if I sound heartless, but who is “he”? LOL.

 

4) I seem to sound lovesick all the time. And although I can’t quite remember who I’m talking about, I’m pretty sure I was referring to different guys every now and then.

 

But there’s alot to be learnt from old blogs. One thing for sure, I’m slowly starting to see some parts of me that were pretty immature, pompous, childish, vengeful, and overly-flirty and desperate. Perhaps its only with time that we can reflect on our past and realise how blinded we were to not have noticed who was staring right back at us when we looked in the mirror.

And the past continues to haunt me

I’ve always thought that I’ve put the past behind me, but the recent brief encounters with familiar faces of my past proved to me that perhaps I was not as strong as I thought I was.

 

As crazy as it sounds, I still feel a sense of…… shame. Whenever I walk past them, I uncontrollably bow my head down to avoid looking straight into their eyes. Even then…… I can hear them sniggering and gossiping…… I can feel them staring right at me…… I can sense them pointing their fingers at me, whispering, “Look, isn’t that her?”

 

Damn it, Simin! Damn it! When will you learn that you did nothing wrong??? When will you understand that this is just sick game that senseless-people-with-supposedly-high-IQ-but-apparently-very-low-EQ play???

 

I need to move on.

A life lesson learnt today

Dear You,

Right from Day One, everything that I did, I did it all for you. Yes, you might not have said it openly, but I can see it in your eyes whenever you want something. And for every single thing that you ever wanted, I would put in 100% to make sure you got it, even if it meant lying to the people around me.

But never did I know that all that I did were redundant. For you, I lied, argued and hurt those who are close to me. For you, I defied them and stood up for you, yelling in their faces that they were wrong about you. Perhaps, part of me did not want to admit that the older people were always right. And yet, at this very moment, I find it hard to churn up any more excuses for you. I am inclined to believe that they were the ones who were right all along, and I had been stupid enough to trust in you.

I poured my heart out to you. I told you all my problems. I cried and bawled over how horrible it was for me to be stuck in the middle. I reached out to you, hoping that you would understand how tired I was. Afterall, aren’t all couples supposed to share their problems?

But you stunned me with your nonchalence. Worse of all, you stunned me with your selfishness. All you could think about was you, you, you. How you were affected in this situation. How I did you wrong by putting you in this kinda fix. How I made you look bad in front of my parents.

And what about me? Did you ever care about me, not just today, but in the 2 years and 7 months that we have been together?

You wanted to join the gym. For your sake, I not only stuck my neck out for you by signing up the instalment plan with my supplementary card, I also signed up myself. When you were busy and could not go to the gym with me, I quiety accepted the fact that it was money down the drain. When you did not offer to pay me back the money, be it coz you forgot or you were acting dumb, I kept quiet again coz I didn’t want to appear like a bloodsucking loanshark. When my mum pushed me for the money, I had to take the blame. And all this while, you never knew. Until today, that is.

When you said you wanted to renew your membership, I knew it was going to be difficult coz my mum had stated clearly “No”. And we all know it was coz of your poor track history. But I’m a stupid person. Which was why I chose to sign up for you before telling her. Coz I wanted you to be happy.

But are you happy? I dunno. I certainly know I’m not. Coz today I finally realised that I am really dumb. Your answer said it all - “If your mother didn’t agree, you should have told me. I could have gotten someone else to sign up for me.” Oh, so it was that simple? As your girlfriend, I could just have said…. No?

And when I tried to explain that it was coz of your late payments that caused her to feel frustrated, you turned the table on me and blamed me instead! You actually had the audacity to say that the big reason why she was mad coz I did not inform her first. Oh, so why couldn’t I have been frank with her in the first place huh?

However, nothing hurt more than what you said to me last. When I told you that all I expected from you was a promise that you will try to be punctual with your payments next time, you told me that it was my fault that money was tight. Why? Coz you spent all your money eating out with me and getting gifts for me. Oh, so was I the one who forced you to live beyond your own means?

I’m sorry I never knew I was such a burden. I’m sorry I never knew that every month, you were living such a tough life coz you had to support me. I’m sorry that I did so much for you when you never expected me to. I’m sorry for being so stupid, for doing things that I thought would make you happy when in fact you hate me for it.

 

Thanks for making me realise that in life, some people are just not worth helping.

Business Times picked us!

Take a look at this! And please pay special notice to the names of the writers!

 

 

Our hard work finally paid off….. Woots!

Do dreams have any meaning?

For the longest time, I thought all human beings dream when they go to sleep every night, when in actual fact, some people don’t experience dreams at all! I, for one, belong to the former - I dream every single night.

 

Well, it may seem like there’s nothing interesting about someone dreaming. But the problem is, whatever I dream of and the emotions involved often extend beyond my dreams and affect me even when I am awake! After I wake up, I would lie there and ponder over what I have dreamt, and in extreme cases I can replay the entire dream in my mind for the entire day.

 

Case in point - Last night, I had another one of “those” dreams whereby I’m blissfully in love with some guy. I don’t know why, but the people that appear in my dreams usually have no “recognisable faces”. Maybe its coz they have yet to appear in my life?

 

Anyway, I seem to experience such dreams alot. Not that I’m complaining, because I honestly feel so wonderfully doted on when I’m with him. From what I recall, he’s always tall with strong broad shoulders for me to lean on. He’s the perfect gentleman who would hold me in my arms and protect me, and once in awhile he would ever so gently plant a soft kiss on my forehead. (Btw, the kiss-on-the-forehead thingy is my absolute weak spot.)

 

The problem is, he is not my boyfriend!!! Sighhhh… Wouldn’t things be so much easier if the man of my dreams was my bf? And when I wake up, I can’t seem to detach myself from the dream! And worst of all, I would start comparing my own relationship in reality with what I have just dreamt, only to realise that my bf is a far cry from him!!!

 

Am I thinking too much about my dreams? On one hand, I feel so happy in my dream that before I sleep, I silently pray that I would have the same dream so that I can meet him again. On the other hand, there’s this almost guilt-like feeling that enroaches in me, and I feel as if I’m cheating on my bf.

 

To dream of love of being in love, suggests intense feelings carried over from a waking relationship. It implies happiness and contentment with what you have and where you are in life. On the other hand, you may not be getting enough love in your daily life. We naturally long for the sense to belong and to be accepted.

 

Sighhhh….. This is bad

Food glorious food

After 3 long weeks, I am finally home!!! I LOVE YOU SINGAPORE!!! MUACKS MUACKS!!!

No more cars horning all over the place. No more stupid china ppl spitting on the ground like nobody’s business. Yucks.

Of course, there are things I will miss about China, mainly the super CHEAP FOOD. And considering how important food is to me, I shall dedicate the entire post to what I ate there.

 

Xiao long bao - 10 for RMB10 (there’s only 5 in the picture coz we were too hungry. BUT! Only S$2 lehh!!)

 

But after that we found a place that (gasp!) had even cheaper xiao long bao! *drum rolls* ONLY RMB 5 for 8!!! SG$1 for 8 pieces of juicy xiao long bao!!!

 

We also discovered this Hong Kong cafe near my dad’s place that soon became our favourite eatery. I’ll let the pictures (and prices) speak for themselves.

Si-ping (4 items platter) - RMB 48

We chose the char siew, roast duck, roast meat and steamed chicken. All these for less than S$10!!! How to find this kinda price?! Even kopitiam also don’t have lorrr!!!

 

Diced chicken and salted fish fried rice - RMB 20 (S$5 for this enormous plate enough to feed both of us)

 

(Ok, I’m kinda tired of converting to Sing dollars, so kindly divide all RMB prices by 5.)

 

Abalone mushroom with broccolli - RMB 38 (not cheap, but to-die-for. The abalone mushroom really tasted abalone, so just imagine you’re paying that price for the real deal.)

 

 HUGE baked mushroom rice - RMB 25

 

To illustrate how big the plate of rice is, please see the “After photo”.

After 30 min, I only managed to finish half of the portion. Definitely value for money.

 

Other than Chinese food, China had some noteworthy Western food eateries too.

 

First stop - Papa John’s

 

OMG the pizza there is soooooooooooo good. Its 1,000,000 times better than Pizza Hut. I’m like having withdrawal syndromes already! Seriously, someone pleeeeaaasssssseeeeeeeee bring Papa John’s to Singapore! I swear you will earn big bucks! Say ‘No’ to Pizza Hut’s monopoly!! I’ll be your most loyal customer!!!

 

New Orleans roast beef sandwich. Most people (at least, most Singaporeans) don’t normally order sandwiches as a meal because…… Well, it simply isn’t worth it. But take a look at the size of this bugger!! And don’t think that just because its “only a sandwich” that they will skimp on the fillings. The beef was really tender and just look at how generous they were with the liao!! 

 

 Baked penne with bacon and mushrooms

 

Prawns and cilantro spaghetti - RMB 15 (ONLY S$3!!!)

 

Whole meal (plus a missing plate of lasagne) for RMB 67 i.e S$13!!!!!

 

Wahhhhhh……. With all the cheap and good food I’ve had, I think I’m gonna have serious problems forking out S$3 (I realised few places sell it at $2 liao) for a plate of chicken rice. That’s RMB 15 lehhh!!!!!! LOL.

 

Ok, that’s about it. More pictures when I have the time (and mood).

I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!

Today was my last exam paper. What’s so special is that I can finally use the word LAST and actually mean it.

 

Yup, after 15 years (Wow is has been that long!?!?) of studying, I can finally say BYE BYE to textbooks and exams. Actually, I wanna say more than bye bye, but this blog is PG. 

 

It kinda feels surreal actually. Like, what’s next?

 

Hmmmm…… I’ll think about that later. For now, I’m looking forward to my 3 weeks trip with my dear dear! Wheeeeeeeee~

Why guys won’t "go down" for girls

Read this from the Nov 07 issue of CLEO.

They surveyed guys regarding why they don’t want to -ahem- “go down south” for girls. The 2 most frequently quoted reasons were:

 

1. Girls’ vaginas smells funny/bad

And the editor’s solution? “There’s nothing feminine wash cannot help.” Ohhhh…… So we have to sterilise our vaginas so that you guys will be willing to please us? Like, as if guys’ dicks smell like roses.

If you think about it, when we girls pee, at least we wipe right? What about guys?! They just, like, fling it a little and then stick in back into their underwear. And let’s not forget that its a known fact that most guys have poorer hygiene practices than girls. But do we complain about smelly dicks?!?!

 

2. Hairy vaginas turn them off

And the editor’s brilliant advice is…… Get a Brazillian wax. Like, wow….. I didn’t even think of that. What a brilliant idea!!! -_-||

I am absolutely positive by now that the editor is a GUY. Like, hello?! A Brazillian wax is like freaking painful can?!?

And why must us girls get a wax when guys are even more hairy than us??? So girls must be cleanly shaven to be hygienic while guys’ abundance of hair represents their masculinity?

 

In conclusion, I think the whole article is plain bullshit and just another mean for guys to extend their chauvinistic and sexist tyranny over us. So you know what?! Big deal! Us girls don’t need guys to approve of us. If it is really such a bother for guys to please us, then by all means don’t. Don’t submit yourselves to such a compromising position just to make us happy.

But, obviously, you know what this means for you guys in return right?

The last goodbye

At approximately 8.30 pm this evening, Ham Ham left us.

It was all too sudden. It was only this afternoon that dear told me Ham Ham was looking listless and he took him to the vet. The vet said there was nothing much he could do but give him antibiotics and liquid food.

We tried to feed Ham Ham with a syringe but he had great difficulties keeping it down. As I watched him struggle, I couldn’t hold my tears back. He was choking and wheezing so badly, as though he couldn’t even breathe proper. Our poor baby was reduced to skin and bones, a vast difference from his chubby self just a few days ago. It pained us so much to watch him suffer.

But when I was holding him and stroking him to sleep, I even told dear that his breathing wasn’t that heavy anymore and there was hope that he might get better. But little did I know……

And when dear buried him, all I could do was to watch and cry……

 

Ham Ham when he was still a teeny weeny lil baby.

 

All contented in his lil TV set, which was getting a tad too small for him.

 

Last July… Ham Ham doesn’t like no brand boxes k?

 

I decided against posting Ham Ham’s last parting shot, simply because its too painful to look at him in that state. I want him to be remembered in his best moments - that cute, cuddly, greedy lil ball of fur.

 

Ham Ham, I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time with you when I had the chance. I just want you to know that I really love you very very much and I miss you so much. I don’t know what happens to hamsters when they move on, but I hope you’re in a happy place now. And I hope that you will remember us coz we will never forget you. Goodbye.

Definitely, no no

Ok, I know I’m supposed to be studying but my bf was such a dear that he bought tix, knowing that I wanted to catch this!

 

 

I was really looking forward to watching this coz the trailer looked promising and reviews were good too. And with the big heading “From the makers of Notting Hill and Love Actually”, how can it possibly go wrong right?

 

WRONG! The show, unfortunately, sucks. =(

 

Its a romantic comedy, but it was neither romantic nor comedic. The jokes were either not funny or delivered too fast and unclear by Ryan Reynolds (who plays the main character Will) such that no one could catch it.

 

The only saving grace was Abigail Breslin who played Will’s daughter Maya. She was witty, smart and funny and delivered her lines wayyyyyyyy better than Reynolds. I didn’t catch her in Little Miss Sunshine, but I’ve heard good things about her and it definitely showed during this movie.

 

 

 

And the weirdest thing was that, the only time the phrase “Definitely, Maybe” was mentioned was during this insignificant part midway through the movie. I mean, isn’t the movie title usually the central theme?

 

So my recommendation is, go catch it if you have the extra time and cash and there’s nothing else for you to watch (unless you’re interested in The Forbidden Kingdom, that is). If not, you’re better off watching channel 8 re-runs at home.